Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
貓和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。“盒子里裝的是什么？”朋友問道。“一只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。
Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚后，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了回應，“報告你的位置”。“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之后，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快？”
St Peter's question 圣彼德的問題
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".
有三個人死了，分別是一名醫生、一名會計和一名律師。他們來到了圣彼德面前。圣彼德對他們說，如果他們想進入天堂，就得每人回答一個問題。圣彼德看著醫生開始發問，“以前電影院放過一部電影，說的是一艘船撞擊冰山后沉沒，電影的名字是什么？” 醫生回答，“＜＜泰坦尼克號＞＞”，醫生隨即被允許進入天堂。然后圣彼德看著會計說，“船上有多少人遇難？”。會計很走運，因為他剛看過這部電影，回答道，“1500人遇難。”圣彼德把會計也放進天堂了。最后，圣彼德轉過身，看著律師，非常嚴肅地用命令的口吻問道，“把1500人的名字都說出來？”
Blind Date
相親（笑話）
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和相親對象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地！”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”