Three Whistles
I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.
"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."
三聲口哨
我答應過我的女朋友過生日進送她一條金項鏈。可是當珠寶商報出我們看中的那條項鏈的價格時，我低低地打了個長口哨。“那這條項鏈多少錢呢？”我指著另一個盤子里的項鏈問。
“先生，對你來說，”珠寶商答道，“大約值三聲口哨。”
Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
采購過早
那天是圣誕節，法官在審訊犯人時也有點惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴？”他問。
“采購圣誕節物品過早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購物多早？”
在商店開門之前，“犯人應道。
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。
What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.
你叫什么名字？
有一位很嚴厲的軍官在對一群交由他訓練的新兵訓話。他以前從沒見過這群新兵，于是他開始自我介紹：“我的名字叫Stone(石頭)，事實上，我甚至比石頭更強硬。這就是我為什么要告訴你們我名字的原因。不要試圖對我玩什么花招，這樣我們就能很好相處了。”
接著他開始走到每個士兵前面問他們的名字。“說大聲點，讓每個人都能聽清楚。另外，不要忘記稱呼我為長官。”他說。
每個士兵都對他說了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前時，這個士兵保持著沉默。于是Stone隊長對他喊叫，“當我問你問題的時候，要回答！我再問一遍，你的名字，士兵？”
那個新兵很不高興，但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石機)，長官。”他緊張的說。
The Same Duties
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
相同的職責
一個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的一個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務兵，勤務兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個晚上的時間來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責與在軍隊時完全一樣，”將軍說，“這沒什么，你很快就會再次理解它的。”
第二天早晨八點鐘時，前勤務兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。” |