All Right
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."
沒關系
我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。“啊噢，”意識到犯了錯誤，我說。“我剛才拐彎是違章的。”
“我想那沒關系的，”女兒回答說：“我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。”
S.O.B.
My father, who was 14 years old than my mother, had been working on his will. At a family dinner he told us that he had provided well for Mother, but the family home would go to us five children if she remarried.
"I don't want another S.O.B. toasting his shins around my fireplace," he explained.
With a sly grin, Mother cracked, "What makes you think I'd marry another S.O.B?"
狗娘養的
我爸比我媽大14歲，最近一直在寫遺囑。一次家宴上，他告訴我們說他為母親以后的生活作好了安排，但如果她改嫁的話，家里的房子將歸我們五個孩子所有。
“我可不愿意另外哪個狗娘養的在我的火爐旁烤他的狗腿，”他解釋道。
媽媽狡猾地咧了咧嘴，譏誚道：“你怎么認為我會再嫁給一個狗娘養的？”
Gardening Gloves
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
園藝手套
幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結婚戒指，因為我對黃金有點過敏。生日那天，我正在干園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什么禮物。我舉起雙手說：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”
那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物。“生日快樂！”他說。我打開一看：里面包著一雙園藝手套。
Wood Fire
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."
"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
森林之火
一名婦女向她最好的朋友大談雄性動物的特性：“丈夫們就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他們就會燃燒起來。”
“那是不是意味著，”另一個問道，“他們將自己燒成灰燼？”
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